Young Writers Society

I wrote this for a Comp II assignment, it came out better then I expected, I'd just thought I'd share!

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Hansel and Gretel- The Witch’s Tale

As told by Chaotic Romance

Everyone has heard of Hansel and Gretel; the story about the two poor little children, whose parents abandoned them in the woods and their run-in with a witch who tried to eat them. I tell you, it’s a conspiracy. I was never the one to blame; those two twisted the story to make it sound like they were the victims. But it was me; I was the one that almost died in my own oven. I was the one that suffered third degree burns and I have the scars to prove it. And it is I who is still suffering after one year of recovery and therapy. And don’t even get me started on the hospital bills. I thought it was all over once I had gotten out of the hospital, but then I read that dratted story in the paper. And I was not very happy about what it contained.

I was a kind lady who minded her own business, thank you very much. And I hated the fact that those little brats had spread all those horrendous rumors about what happened. Only to save their own skin! I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for all those published stories and such that those two have conned the whole world into believing. Because they didn’t have to go telling everyone what happened. It wasn’t like it was anyone else’s business. Especially since it was not the real tale in the first place.

I would like to start off by saying that witches do not and will never eat children. The whole thought is particularly disgusting to the whole population. Witches are not evil; we are good and we try our best to fit into this world. And except for the occasional story about us, all of which include lies and more lies, we are very quiet beings that like to keep to ourselves. And witches are not ugly, old hook-nosed women. Most of us are of average age and looks; except me, due to the severe third degree burns I received after being in that stupid oven. I’m just glad that my boyfriend likes me for me and not for how I look. Otherwise my relationship would have suffered as well as my dignity.

Now, I lived in a little cottage in the middle of the woods. Yes, it was made of food and candy. But no, it was not so that I could lure children in and eat them. When I left my parents’ house a few years before that happened to be the only building material that I was able to afford at that time. I had really only planned to keep the house like that for a few months before I built a new one out of wood and such. But, I became rather fond of my new candy home, it was different and I liked it. So I decided to keep it the way it was, even though I could rebuild it at anytime with wood if I chose to.

Alright, now that I got that out, it’s time to get to the real reason you happened to be reading this… The real story of what happened between me and those children. And believe me it was all their fault…

One day I happened to be baking a cake for a good friend of mine’s birthday. It was a quiet day as usual in my little house when I heard that sound, the sound of chewing and munching coming from outside. I sighed, “Not again.” Even though I never intended this, since my house was made of food it tended to attract animals and children. Mostly children though. Funny how that works… that’s how all the rumors started. Usually when I came out to investigate, I would startle the child, not because I was ugly, but because, well I really don’t know, but I would end up scaring the poor child away and he’d run and tell everyone that horrid tale of me eating children. That’s how I got such a bad reputation in the first place. Children and their too active imaginations…

Anyway, I opened the door and found a little girl nibbling on my windows and a little boy munching on my roof, both of which I had just replaced, mind you (it’s hard to keep a roof like that intact with all the rain we get in the spring!) So, you can imagine how angry I was when I discovered them. But they looked so pathetic and hungry, I felt sorry for them, so I invited them in to have lunch. They accepted the offer and that’s when this whole story gets completely messed up.

Those little brats were so rude! I not once heard a ‘please’ or a ‘thank you’ from them. It was always, “I want this” and “give me more of that”. But me being the kind lady that I am, I ignored their rudeness and proceeded to grant them their wishes anyway. And when they were finally through eating everything in sight, it was getting dark out so I even gave them a place to sleep, but did they thank me? No! All they did was crawl under the covers and go to sleep without a word to me. To say that I was angry is an understatement. I was appalled at their behavior. Children these days don’t act as properly as they should.

The next day, I was baking another cake for another friend of mine and Hansel attacked me! I have yet to figure out why, but he jumped me from behind and proceeded to yell obscenities at me. Saying things that a ten year old should not be saying or even know for that matter. So, that’s where the cage came into play. Why did I have the cage you ask? I use to have a dog, he died a few years ago due to a disease, I have the medical papers to prove it if you don’t believe me. Anyway, the cage happened to be the only way that I could get him off of me, so I could talk some sense into him. The little brat had gone bad it seemed. And my words did nothing but make him angrier, so I simply turned around and went about my business, giving him time to calm down.

But, you know that didn’t last long… when little Gretel woke up and found her brother in the cage, she turned on me “Stupid witch, get my brother out of that cage, right now.”

“Dear” I started, “He’s in there for his own good. He attacked me and he will stay in there until he is calm again.”

Gretel wouldn’t have any of that, but before she could respond, I said “If you don’t be quiet, you’ll end up in the same place as him.” Okay, so maybe that wasn’t the best way to handle the situation. But, what else did you expect me to do? I couldn’t have the little monsters running amuck in my house if they were going to attack me. I only did it for my own protection.

Gretel calmed down after that, and I gave her some chores to do. You know, to keep her mind off of her brother. That was another mistake on my part. How was I suppose to know that she was going to snoop around and find where I kept all my jewelry (they were family heirlooms and worth a fortune, I did not just leave them lying around). Well little Gretel, being the conniving little brat that she is, had the great idea to steal them. But she would need Hansel’s help in order to carry some of it out. And of course, she would have to get rid of me to actually have a chance to take anything.

I was standing near the oven, testing the heat, to see if it was warm enough yet. When Gretel came downstairs and proceeded to push me into it. There was no talk and no persuasion of her to get in first, as that nasty little girl said there was. I yelped in pain, as the flames engulfed me. I heard the oven door slam shut and the lock click.

I honestly thought that I was going to die that day. It’s not like anyone actually comes to visit me and I knew that those two little monsters were long gone. At least I assumed they were, but it really was hard to tell because it just so happens that I couldn’t hear a thing in the oven except the flames.

So you can imagine my surprise when the door flung open not ten minutes later after I had already accepted my fate. And there standing before the oven a look of pure surprise and horror written on her features, was one of my few friends. It turns out that she had come by to pick up the cake that I had been baking. And she had apparently heard my screaming and banging from outside my house.

Of course, I did not get any of my jewelry back; those kids were far gone by that time. I was just thankful to be alive. And I still to this day, for if she hadn’t come by, well I probably wouldn’t be here right now, telling you my story. Or rather the real story. And you all would still be in the dark about the real tale.

Well, now my time here is done and I hope that I have shed some light upon something that desperately needed it. If you want to believe the children, over myself, that’s fine, but I must say watch yourself around them, or they might attempt to throw you into your oven.